FAST TRACK

Since moving to LA with only ~2 suitcases of clothes to cycle through, I've learned to make practical use of a few pieces that I majorly took for granted back in Vegas. I've had these velvet track pants for over six months, but only started wearing them as frequently as I do now (which is once a week at the very least) in November, when my options were severely limited to what I could fit in luggage. I never really appreciated having such an expansive wardrobe back at home -- I never even wondered what it would be like to have to eventually wear an item of clothing multiple times out of necessity and not ironic fun. Now, having a closet that I can zip neatly into a suitcase means having to get *seriously* creative with unfamiliar limits. Fortunately the sweatshirt is new (c/o OMG Fashion) although I promised myself I wouldn't go into flowery detail about how "luxurious" the quilted fabric feels against my bare skin in wintertime because sadly no one ACTUALLY cares about that shit. Not even me.

A motivational New Years prep talk for myself: I want to be more earnest about my pursuit of a fulfilling life. That means expecting others to be more honest and communicative with me only after I am confident that I can offer them the same respect. You get what you give, and so far I don't feel like I've given as much as I am capable of. I am often selfish and greedy, lazy, fearful, self-sabotaging, and unmotivated. Finally I'm learning to accept that despite these shortcomings, I deserve secure relationships and a rewarding career. I'm not better or worse than anyone, no more or less deserving of intimacy and love. Everyone is equal. And there is no one in this world who should have to look out for their goals while guiding mine because I'm supposedly too special to rule my world myself. I'm an adult now, 20 years old. And with the reluctance of my inner begrudging teenager, I independently have to look out for my well-being without expecting to be 'saved' by others. Only I am responsible for my own happiness, and 100% in charge of the 50% role I play in my pursuit of love. 

Happy 2014, enjoy the commemorative 2013 throwback beanie. It's hard to part with the past. 



FROM TOP TO BOTTOM:
Beanie - Gift
Clubmaster sunglasses - Zero UV"Quilted Monochrome Jumper" - OMG Fashion
Track pants - Sheinside
Heels - Missguided

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Everything is infinite,

Bebe Zeva