Whaaaat, a red beret in a totally American en-sem-blé???? Oui! Oui! A red beret is more flirtatious and (ugh, chastise me later for this terribly heteronormative descriptor) feminine than a red beanie, which was my second choice. I'm glad I went with my instincts. You might think my felt hat stereotypically French and subsequently out of place next to those "patriotic" stars and stripes - but that's where you're WRONG WRONG WRONG. Ever thought to google image "French flag"? Or maybe you're a geography genius and you already have flags of the world memorized (get a new past time, buddy!) If the latter is the case, you already know where I'm going with this. The French national colors are ALSO red, white, and blue so, HA, my red beret is TRÉS appropriate. Pinkies in the air, people!
FROM TOP TO BOTTOM:
Beret - YES STYLE
Wayfarers - Foster Grant
Turtleneck - American Apparel
Skirt - VIVID BLUEPRINT
Hidden Wedge sneakers - Jeffrey Campbell c/o Solestruck
"WHERE'D YA GET THAT SKIRT, GURL," passersby inquire as my butt (beautifully accentuated by the star-print panels on either side of this sassy bodycon) swings to-and-fro about town. You might find it TMI, but information is what ya signed up for when you typed my blog URL into your browser so I'll PROUDLY let it be known that my derrière grew a full THREE INCHES since the last time I measured it. Naturally, discovering my that my bum's circumference has noticeably grown was a rewarding moment, especially for a girl whose dream it is to master the twerk. So, in the most awkward way possible, I extend my sincerest THANK YOU'S to Vivid Blueprint for hooking me up with such a beauty for my booty. Hope you guys don't mind my unabashed butt bragging!!!!
My buddy Ty from Solestruck gifted me these hidden wedge Jeffrey Campbell Gios a few months ago and after an unnecessarily long time of me hiding them in my closet - except for that time I wore them to a Calvin Harris cast reunion video shoot - I am debuting them ~officially~ on FTBH. So take a long, drool-inducing gander. I know some people talk smack about the hidden wedge sneaker, but that's probably because they're already tall and don't need the height as badly as a pipsqueak like moi. I LOVE THESE SNEAKERS. NEVER TALK POOP ABOUT SNEAKERS IN MY PRESENCE. SNEAKER LOVER UNTIL I DIE. YA. Thank you Solestruck for always keeping me and my size 6 feet in mind!!!!
Alright! Done ranting! Finally I can CLOSE DA LAPTOP and dive into this steaming plate of vegan chicken nuggets taunting me with their wafting breaded aroma in front of my face. Say yr last words, nugs. P.S. I'm still French. BON APETITE, SELF.
Everything (butts) is (have) infinite (potential to increase in size if you eat enough and do squats),