Tuesday, September 30, 2014

billion dollar brows: tutorial and review

Anyone who's followed me and my blog for the past few years can testify that I've made several questionable makeup choices that turned into full blown phases... phases that were often the subject of derisive comments from beauty elitists and miscellaneous instagram haters. My eyebrows are a particularly contentious topic. I used to darken and enlarge them severely. Click on any link from December 2012 in my blog archive and you'll see EXACTLY what I'm talking about. People really don't like it when I challenge beauty standards by tremendously exaggerating features. They get angry (not realizing that such a corrosive attitude doesn't serve them) and harangue me about how I don't look attractive -- and isn't that the point of makeup?? To look attractive? In my opinion, absolutely NOT. Makeup is a tool for change, not standard rectification and reinforcement. But that's a conversation we can have privately on ask.fm. Today, I'm indulging the elitists and doing an eyebrow tutorial that (hopefully) fits right into the 'natural but improved' beauty principle. 

SO, if you're one of those people who'd rather look beautiful than weird and opinionated, you'll benefit from this brief course in ~eyebrow enhancement~ brought to you by Billion Dollar Brows. It's my first time working with a eyebrow kit and, as the haters will tell you, GOD KNOWS I NEED ONE. Not just an eyebrow kit, but an eyebrow makeover, an eyebrow paradigm shift. I need something, anything to save me from my self-imposed proportion crisis. 

Well, Billion Dollar Brows happens to be the Jesus Christ of kits for heathens like me. It saves. Here's how my 4-step baptism went down.

I started out like this. Naked brows in desperate need of reinvention.

First, I applied the "Brow Duo Highlighter" pencil above my brow bone. BROW BONE?? If it weren't for the pamphlet that came with this kit, I wouldn't have known that blending in a light matte cream accentuates the shape (especially arch) of my eyebrow. 

Second, I rubbed in the pencil marks with the smudge brush to keep it clean and cohesive. Noticeable highlighter and concealer is a no-no... everything about the eyebrow should appear effortless. 

Third, I used the brown mechanical "Universal Brow Pencil" to make hair-like strokes, just as the pamphlet advised. I didn't draw outside the lines as per usual and I tried to keep the coloring conservative. The crayon looks extremely realistic and doesn't just 'fill in the empty space' like the dark powdered shadow I formerly used. 

Next, the brush attached to the other end of the crayon smoothed out the rogue hairs and showcased the natural, youthful shape of my brows.

Finally, the clear brow gel. It looks like translucent mascara... and that's exactly what it is. Not only does it hold the brow hairs in place so I can maintain my look all day without having to worry about fading, it makes the entire eyebrow POP. The finished product is bold and firm.


And with a little extra glam... this is my final form. 

For such a transformative makeup kit, I'd expect to pay the big bucks. But Billion Dollar Brows is available at Kohl's for only 35 dollars, not the billion it's worth. $35 is an affordable price -- but not SO affordable (read: cheap) that you question the quality of the goods. Every tool I used, from the highlighter/concealer duo crayon to the brush tip for smoothing hairs, felt top notch and proved itself with top notch results. 

I hope this review/tutorial was illuminating for some of you! Surely many of my readers will wish that I had this makeover opportunity years ago... but better late than never. Pick up a pack of Billion Dollar Brows Best Sellers at Kohl's if you're still in your December 2012 phase. Take it from me... that shit saves.

Everything is infinite,



  1. "not the billion it's worth" is v funny

  2. Your pastebin answer encouraged me to comment for the first time~ I started casually reading your fashion blog a few years ago, eventually that led me to your twitter, your instagram, and then to your ask.fm (I don't follow you/have an established presence on any of these sites, so I hope one day you decide to make your twitter account public again, it was really interesting to keep up with). I just wanted to say thanks for giving me a lot of different things to think about over the last few years. I agree with the majority of the discussions you have in your ask.fm and, even when I don't, I find myself learning simply in the way in which you word and structure your ideas and opinions. It's especially cool because we're the same age, have vaguely similar social anxieties, and the same sort of humor (dude the 'capitalism and schizophrenia' thing was freaking great), so it's nice to be influenced and learn from someone I can simultaneously relate to, if only fractionally. So, yeah, thanks!

    Also, hella sorry for writing a rambling comment without even referencing the post I'm supposed to be commenting on! I love that you can literally say 'I'm indulging the elitists' and no one says a thing ;) Love those not so low key self-aware paragraphs in these posts <3

  3. I prefer the december 2012 brows personally, and the statement behind them

  4. it's quite a lot of work, but the results are brilliant! i love this!

    Life With Antlers // A Personal Blog

  5. It looks really good!!
    Visit my blog? We can follow each other if you want, leave me a comment if so!

    sammiethestargirl.blogspot.com || Bloglovin

  6. hi Bebe, I am vicky from breakicetrends, may i know that have you check my email?waiting for your reply soon.


  7. eyebrows become an important part of the interface to use penebal alis ampuh